Imposter or imposter syndrome

Why I don’t have imposter syndrome (and neither should you)

Took this photo in Hever Castle’s garden (childhood home of Anne Boleyn)

There was a time on LinkedIn when it seemed like everyone was writing about imposter syndrome—feeling inadequate in their roles, as if they were just pretending to be Directors or Managers. The platform was full of people questioning their achievements, talking about self-doubt and fear of failure, and believing others saw them as more skilled than they really were. When I read those posts, I realized I couldn’t relate. I felt the opposite: confident that I could learn anything, take on any job, and be the right person for the role. If I had any complaint, it was that my versatility and value were often overlooked in the job market. But I never felt inadequate. In this post, I want to explore why that is, and why, despite the trend, I don’t experience imposter syndrome.

1. I am not an imposter (imposter profile nr 1)

Also a photo I took in Hever Castle’s garden

I’ve noticed that many people writing about imposter syndrome are young professionals who quickly moved into high positions, like co-founders or managers. When I saw their posts, I often checked their LinkedIn profiles and found they had little job experience, sometimes starting work straight from university or a special program. I would think: maybe you don’t have ‘imposter syndrome’—perhaps you really are an ‘imposter.’ I mean this in a metaphorical sense. If someone without much experience steps into a powerful or demanding role, they may not have the background to support it. In those cases, playing a role (being an imposter) and fearing exposure are natural responses to a tough situation.

One of my colleagues went through this pathway. Very young, he became a co-founder of an organization that he had to run in a foreign country, straight out of university. What was very impressive about how he approached that situation was how quickly he began to learn about management, project development, and scaling. Most of all, he began to regularly shadow various leaders across organizations to learn how they work day-to-day and make decisions. He put a lot of time and energy into actually growing into the responsible task he was given. When he started, he had to play a role (be an imposter, in a sense); over time, he became the strong leader the organization needed.

This is just my guess, but I think that a lot of the people writing about imposter syndrome may be actual impostors - lack the skills needed for their field. I feel like what we need more of is facing the reality: without enough knowledge, skills, and experience, it’s normal to feel like you’re just playing a part. We should accept this as a sign that we have more to learn, rather than thinking we’re not where we’re supposed to be.

Personally, I have 15 years of experience in communications, and my first job was 21 years ago. I feel confident because I have the experience, knowledge, and skills to handle any job or project. If I ever felt unsure, it would just mean I need to learn something new or improve my skills, and not that I should let feelings of inadequacy define me.

2. I’m a woman

Portraits of Ann Boleyn I photographed in Hever Castle

Most of the posts I saw about imposter syndrome, unsurprisingly, came from women. Most of my successful female colleagues are full of doubt about their skills, achievements, and performance. I had to have multiple conversations with a friend who is probably among the top world specialists in her domain, about being the right person for the job. The thing is, I rarely see this in men. On the contrary, I’ve seen plenty of men not only be horribly overconfident but also have zero problem taking credit for successes, including the successes of others.

Men with minimal experience will be LinkedIn experts on any topic. They will give you tips and play the know-it-all at conferences, while many actual experts, who are women, struggle with imposter syndrome. This is why I absolutely rejected the feeling of inadequacy in my professional life. Seeing how less talented and less skilled men are getting high positions just because they talk about their skills and worth with confidence, I decided to leave my humble, shy approach to what actually matters—epistemics, ethics, and impact-focused decision-making. But when it comes to everything else, I embraced an approach of really believing in my cognitive abilities and the quality of my work.

I’m a woman, therefore I reject the narrative of imposter syndrome for myself. I prefer to be an expert, like all the men around me :)

3. I am autistic, and I work hard

Inside the Hever Castle

This is a tricky one, because if you’re autistic, you pretty much feel out of place most of your life. But on the other hand, I was lucky enough to be one of those autistic people with cognitive skills that allowed them to go through school and university with the highest results. From an early age, I just felt I was different but in a good way. I felt more grown-up and more rational than the kids around me. I never felt like there was anything I couldn’t learn or do. I feel this built certain arrogance, which in my 20s I had to shake off and reshape into confidence, to later evolve into some kind of wisdom in my 30s.

But I feel like I always treated my life as a path built on hard work and choices. It’s a choice I’m not an astrophysicist, but if I really wanted to, I could be. At least this is what I believe for myself, given the circumstances I was born in and the support I got. It’s a choice I work in communications despite having dysorthography, a strong Polish accent, and a blunt interpersonal style. I consistently think that if I worked hard, I could achieve a lot. For example, I have a terrible memory. For each exam, I had to rewrite my notes in colours, read them a few times, and then learn them a day before the exam. A day after, it would all be forgotten—very little stuck for good, and only because I remembered things that interested me (ethics, animal ethics, societal psychology). But overall, I learned that working hard pays off for me, that each success is my own.

Feeling like you worked hard for things will definitely prevent you from feeling like an imposter. Working hard will, most of all, let you feel that you deserve to be where you are. If it is accompanied by the autistic drive to know the truth, a culture of rational thinking, and a desire to do good in the world, there is not much to worry about, even when stepping out of our comfort zone and accepting challenges.

4. I don’t need a vehicle to signal my weaknesses (imposter profile nr 2)

Henry VIII portraits in Hever Castle

Here’s something I’ve noticed: imposter syndrome has become a thing. There’s a specific LinkedIn post formula: a successful person shares that they, too, feel inadequate, and the comments section is full of “thank you for your honesty.” I’m not saying these feelings aren’t real for some people. But I’ve started to wonder how much of the public imposter syndrome conversation is genuine struggle, and how much is performance.

Sharing that you have imposter syndrome, paradoxically, signals competence. It says: “I’m successful enough that feeling like a fraud is surprising.” When a CEO writes about feeling like they don’t belong in the room, they’re also reminding you they’re in the room. I have a high allergy to personas. Creating virtual versions of oneself to be part of the conversation and stay relevant.

Luckily, I don’t need to do this. I’m a confident talker but also a humble, observant thinker. No one really knows me, no one looks up to me. Therefore, I don’t need to play any roles. No one needs to see me as relatable. I don’t need to curate which vulnerabilities to display. I can do whatever I want, and therefore don’t need to signal that I have flaws and doubts, I can just have them :)

Again, it’s easy for me to say. I’m not a CEO of a big company or an influencer, but I feel like there’s no need to jump on the imposter syndrome wagon. Genuine humility doesn’t require an audience. It shows up in how you update your beliefs when you’re wrong, how you credit collaborators, and how you ask questions when you don’t understand. It doesn’t require public confession. I’d rather be privately humble and publicly confident than the other way around.

So how do you not have imposter syndrome but also not be an arrogant asshole?

Hever Castle

There are a lot of impostors walking around, from trillionaires to presidents. They don’t have any syndromes. They sleep fine at night. Meanwhile, talented, intelligent people, often women, walk around questioning whether they deserve to be in the room. The distribution of self-doubt in this world is almost perfectly inverted from where it should be.

What protects me from imposter syndrome isn’t blind confidence. It’s an accurate assessment. I sometimes look at job descriptions, particularly for roles above my current position, and honestly compare them to my skills and experience. What I often find is that my variety of skills and responsibilities already exceeds what’s listed. That’s a confidence boost. But sometimes I find gaps and ask myself: If I have all the relevant skills, why am I not X yet? So I drill further. Maybe I need to be more organised. Communicate more strategically. Get a deeper experience in Y.

With this complete knowledge and honest assessment, I know where I stand and what I still need to build. I’m always in the process, and it’s OK to be in one. The problem isn’t being unfinished but not knowing it, or not working on it. Some may not notice they are in the process of being a president of a democratic country, don’t upskill and end up a dictator of a totalitarian regime. Others can already be great, but keep on worrying. I can only ensure that I use my flaws as lessons to better myself, not as worries to bring myself down. As simple as that.

I’ll just repeat myself, but I feel that we should divide our professional work into two streams:

a) Things that actually need a lot of underconfidence: decisions to hire someone, decisions to pivot an intervention, decisions about how to calculate impact

b) Things where confidence is useful and has few downsides: presenting at a conference, talking to a funder, being a leader to your employees through vision and hard work

If you’re the kind of person who changes their views throughout their life and updates well based on sound arguments and evidence, then I would not worry about overconfidence and would completely drop self-doubt and self-underappreciation. If, however, you are someone with strong views and rules, who is proud that they haven’t changed over the years, who values consistency and staying true to yourself while disregarding arguments and facts just to continue on your pathway, then you need a humility pill.

What hurts me the most: the people who worry about overconfidence, or who do have real imposter syndrome, are the best of the best. They are the ones we need to build up, appreciate, praise, and honour—especially if they’re women.

Real imposter syndrome is avoidable, and we need to create an environment where it will be—by giving others chances, by sharing our knowledge and expertise (instead of making ourselves irreplaceable). I’ve noticed many men holding on to contacts closely, not really sharing the most valuable things from their jobs (unless it’s superficial tips no one needs), because they want to stay irreplaceable. I absolutely hate it. I’m happy to share whatever I have in my head and hands and just make anyone around me better, if I can be of any use.

Transform any imposter into an experienced person, and any professional person with imposter syndrome into a confident, yet epistemically humble, successful leader.

Let’s all do that.

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Reviews corner

I have just finished watching two Netflix series:

The Abandons (6.5/10)

Image source: IMDB © Photo by Courtesy of Netflix - © Netflix

Strong comeback of Lena Headay (Cersei from Game of Thrones) and another significant role from Gillian Anderson. Unfortunately, the screenplay is weak. Starting strong, with a conflict between two strong matriarchs of rural families over silver mining. Characters are quickly built, there is violence, conflicting feelings, all the best things you can want from a series like this, but it very quickly became predictable, and the ending of the first season was disappointing. I give it 6.5, and I am very curious where they will take it next, as I absolutely love the female leads. I just hope they will get a story that measures up to their potential.

His & Hers (6.5/10)

Image source: IMDB Photo by Courtesy of Netflix - © Netflix

I absolutely loved Jon Bernthal in Punisher, so I was glad to see him back, even if he’s not strongly leading the story. He plays a similar role: a cop with a tragic backstory, deeply devoted to his family (a truly romantic character). Overall, the series is neither great nor bad. It’s a fast watcher - where you really want to know how the story ends and “who is the killer,” but you can also quite easily predict it. At least I did. So there were still some twists and surprises, but it’s also not a very complex screenplay. Well played, not dull, but also not fantastic. I hope they will bring Jon more to TV. I think you won’t waste your time if you watch it.